So this is the last of the unforeseen holidays, a Wednesday sneaking up right out of nowhere, on the coattails of Chuseok.
After much persuasion, including being handed "The Bryson Ultimatum", I decided to join Betsy, Steph, Jackie, Erik and Matt on a trip to Everland, the biggest amusement park in Korea and my kids' favorite vacation spot.
Everland is a short subway trip to Suwon and then a hefty bus ride out of the city and into the mountains. It's a beautiful part of the country, with the leaves starting to change color. However, it was the man-made marvels that were on our agenda for the day.
Everland was decorated in Halloween theme with pumpkins and bats galore. It's a massive labyrinth and has even been rated as the 4th most visited amusement park in the world. So despite being a Disneyland knock-off, its certainly not second rate.
Now for a culture note about Americans. They get out of the womb and straight into a rollercoaster chair. These adrenalin-hungry thrill-seekers have long out-screamed the natural terror one could be expected to feel on death-defying rides. They are quite blase about it. I've seen pulses racing faster in a sleep clinic.
The Koreans aspire to American entertainment standards, but us Africans are a different breed. We don't really like for our feet to leave the ground. We get our natural fixes from things like muggings, high-jackings, murder and violence. So amusement parks haven't caught on in a big way, and I've never felt the need to get high on anything other than life. But that was all about to change.
All of a sudden it is trying to throw its passengers from their carriages in a dangerous, psychopathic fashion. My friends throw their arms up and scream excitedly. I tried to join in, but only a slow dying moan escaped from my mouth.
As I curled up in a fetal position, I heard Matt commentating happily beside me "Oh, this ride is messing up my hair" or "The ticket lady isn't dancing very well." as if he expected me to be able to respond when i was trying to stop myself from gagging or passing out, or jumping from the cart.
My introduction to the land of the brave was not at all flattering.
Undaunted, we went on the "Eagle's Fortress", a seriously impressive rollercoaster with all the necessary turns and falls. During this ride, I managed to let out a few proper screams, which definitely helped. At least it lets you know you are still alive. But I still couldn't quite whistle a happy tune or simply remember my favorite things... I still felt pretty wretched.
The next ride was the "Columbus' which is a huge Viking-type swing ride. This one definitely leaves your stomach in the air while the rest of your body is rapidly descending. Erik kindly said "It helps to open your eyes"and I was naive enough to believe him and thus got a crushing view of us screeching towards terra firma at a 45 degree angle with a truckload of Koreans. Surely Columbus had it much easier than this.
So with adrenalin coursing in my veins and a glazed-over expression in my eyes, I went to explore the rest of Everland. I discovered all kinds of innocent, peaceful rides which of course none of my hard-core friends had wanted to go on. I really liked Aesop's village - it's very child-friendly and magical, with lots of nooks and crannies for kids to explore and non-traumatic games and adventures. I was still waiting for my own PTSD to wear off.
We went to a perfectly un-scary "Haunted House" ride where you shoot ghosts with laser guns. Another room in the haunted vein lifts up entirely and turns around 360 degrees, very "Harry Potter", and pretty cool in a mind-bending sort of way.
Everland also had this crazy Abba-style band, which performed Western songs in a mildly embarrassed manner. Although the singer was Russian, this is a good career option for Westerners who don't get into the English teaching business. Everland likes its performers as blond and Caucasian as possible. In a big auditorium they had all kinds of dancing - Spanish and Irish tap and acrobatics.
As night fell over Everland, we got swept up in an incredible light parade. Different floats represented various fairytale, and I could not help but wave at the characters on top of them. For me, it's quite easy to be as mesmerized as a child in a land of costumes and make-believe. Kudos also for the people I was with, who had a healthy store of child-like enthusiasm for Everland. Consequently we could all merrily regress together.
After the light show, we went on a calm, classic merry-go-round ride and then did some souvenir shopping. I bought a bat Alice-band which my students think is very "cutie", and take turns wearing at the hagwon. On the late-night trip back we tried to come up with titles for my creative writing proposal. Topics ranged from the ridiculous to the sublime..but unfortunately never reached the sublime. But it certainly made the trip go a lot quicker. Everland was another novel experience for me, a quick lesson in introspective psychotherapy and in every way unforgettable.
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