Resentment vs Forgiveness?

So I'm learning all about Jesus' idea on loving your enemies: the hard...very hard way.

The Koreans hate and resent the Japanese for the way they brutalised them in recent (and ancient) history. Being in Korea has given me time to unearth some strong and unloving feelings towards people who I think have done me injustice too.

Being on my own, I've allowed these feelings to fester, to grow and to be righteously justified. I don't want to love these people. In fact, I want nothing better than to plot their demise (even if I won't ever act on these ruminations) and remind myself just how badly I've been screwed over. Oh, how much fun bitterness can be.

So Jesus' ideas on love and forgiveness will always be crazy to us, because we can't see how it would benefit us. Yes, he always expects us to serve others, not ourselves. He always expects us to show integrity when no one is looking.

So I went back to the Greek and found that Jesus wasn't just talking about some schoolboy sissy enemy. He uses the Greek word echthros which means "to hate" as in "adversary, enemy, foe, hate, detest,abhor." When was the last time someone really abhorred you?

Jesus was even talking about the people who actively try to hurt you. When they persecute you, when they try to bring you harm by supernatural curses, when they threaten, mistreat and abuse. Yes, Jesus has covered His bases.

Lets face it, I'm never going to be able to conjure flowery warm feeling towards people who show me even a sliver of this. So waiting for the furry reunion is futile. Rather I've made myself act in a way that is 100% contrary to how I am feeling. I've started with a smile and a kind word, a genuine inquiry. I have a long way to go. I try to pray for them, that they will be healed and that they will prosper. I think that I am crazy for doing this, but I do it anyway.

God does something cool here. He gives me some positive feelings towards this person. He helps my unforgiveness. No social niceties can manufacture that. We can't try to forgive someone. I think only Jesus is licenced to forgive. But God gives us his forgiveness when we act loving and obedient.

One thing God didn't call us to do: He never called us to love selectively.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

I sure as hell don't want to share in that fate.